The Way I See It

My coffee cup this morning had an interesting quote printed on it:

The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.

This reminded me of two of the relational commitments I have made in my life.

Marriage: I was speaking to a single friend recently who has been dating a woman for a couple years now and is considering marriage. I told him not to think of marriage as love, giving, taking, or anything other than heart-wrenching commitment. He was a bit surprised at the choice of words, but it is true.

Jesus: In the Fall of 2004 I committed my life to Christ, and life has never been the same. Over the past 4 1/2 years I have experienced both great joy and pain from this relationship. I have come to believe that lasting joy comes from a relationship with God, and that this relationship is also based on heart-wrenching commitment.

I believe that the 'disciplines' that the great church fathers wrote about were first intended to draw us to God for our own benefit. Unfortunately, the church over the years has turned these disciplines into duty, and all the intended joy has left. The few disciplines that I practice do keep me close to God, and have noticed that with the loss of discipline comes a loss of relationship.

The goal of morality is not morality but ecstasy. Unfortunately, we are too easily amused and satisfied. When it is too difficult to gain satisfaction from something we quit and move on to the next thing that we think will be easier and 'just as good.'

During the past couple months this has become quite evident in my marriage also. Julie and I have had some very hard times in the past. However, on the other side of the pain we enjoy each other so much more. Our deep relationship is drawn up out of commitment to a relationship - two people who fought against each other now bound by something way bigger and deeper than we ever imagined. We really do carry on like we are dating, and not like most people who have been married for almost 20 years. Relationships like this cannot be fabricated, only earned through many battles and never giving up - discipline and commitment. All the hard things lead to something much greater.

God didn't say one man for one woman forever because of morality. He said this because it takes a lifetime to win what was intended for an incredible amount of pleasure.

Similarly, God didn't say one god and only one god forever because He is just jealous. He said this because it will take all of eternity for us to develop an intimate relationship with an infinite God.